We play two voicememos about hiding drugs in the place that doesnt shine. The first story is from Tim in Philly; he tells us about how he used to put heroin and xanax up his butt everytime he left the house because he thought he would get arrested and get sick in jail. The second voicememo is from Jason in Ontario; he tells about the time he got pulled over and the drug dealer in the backseat hid Diluadin up his rectrum... they got away and Jason did the drugs (obviously). We debate harm reduction and medication assisted treatment philosophy. Dave tells us about Star Wars and why he is so tired. We talk about Artie Lange's arrest and the "sludge" in his lung.
Dopey110: Hippy vs Hobo, Homelessness, Stealing Medication from Sick/Deceased People, Hotwheels, Research Chemical Benzodiazepines
Dave chastises Chris per usual. Dave and Chris talk about stealing medication from sick people and how addiction effects the family. A long time listener, Andrew, (who went to the same rehab as Dave and Chris) calls in and tells us about his relapse after treatment, which included taking copious amounts of RC benzos and blacking out for weeks. Andrew also tells us about homeless culture and the difference between being a hippy and being a hobo (he prefers "hobo," and hates being labelled as a hippy). Hotwheels calls in and gives us an update (and his phone number)!
Dave's friend from college, "Sloppy Jones," calls in and tells us about the first time he took mescaline as a kid... and then got called into work at Petco. He also tells us about how he got sober, and some of the things he lost to his addiction. We read an email from a person on meth who wrote it while his friend stole things from Walmart for dope. Chris talks about the obsession to use and building value to make a life worth living (instead of getting high). Dave plays the full version of the intro sonf, "Not Home."
Dave and Chris talk about selling posessions to buy heroin such as DVDs, CDs, and clothing. Randy calls in and gives us an update on his one year sobriety. We read an email from Alana (@hotgirlfuckedbylife) about the time she got in a drunken fight with her brother, shaved her head, terffied her family, and simultaneously catapulted her modeling career into success. Some other stuff too.
Dopey107: Mushrooms at a Festival, Injecting DMT, Skype Interview, Sneaky Pete, Libe Barer, Artie Lange, Mescaline, Psilocybin
Libe Barer from the TV show Sneaky Pete tells us about the last time she did drugs. Chris talks about shooting a form of DMT and losing his mind. Chris talks about shooting heroin on mescaline. Dave talks about "Bunny." Dave and Chris share their experience with recovery and what it takes to be sober and happy. We play a voice memo from Artie Lange!
Dopey106: Parents Intervening Drug Use, Hershey’s Chocolate Factory, Puking into a Cup, Puking into a Shirt
Dave tells us about his recent visit to the Hershey's factory and Amish country. Todd calls in again and gives us an update about his life and his use, including a recent visit from his parents who sprung a drug test on him. We play a voice memo from IV about the time he puked into an Arby's cup because there was a cop following him and had to drive around holding it. Chris tells a story about the time he puked into his shirt while he was driving because a cop was next to him. Dave and Chris explain what it was like to use. We read a great review that praises Dave's dad.
Dave and Chris call Brian, a recovering attorney, who tells us about when he used to smoke crack as a lawyer while he was working. Brian also shares about the time he got stabbed in lower Manhattan. We read an email from Eric about a recent relapse w/ shooting cocaine. We play a piece of a voice memo from Caleb where he vehemently defends Dopey. Chris shares a story from when he was a resident in a sober living and was the laughing stock of his job - "Cheapy Hammer." Dave tells some childhood stories.
Dopey104: Good Ol’ Dopey, Faking Drug Tests, Overdose Death, Chiva, SXSW, Whizzinator, Church and Other Drugs,
We read an email from a Dopey Nation member's mom who recently passed away. We talk about drug testing. Chris tells a story about hiding urine in a rubber ducky and carrying it tied to his balls all day. Chris talks about trying to pass a drug test by diluting it with "Tide w/ Bleach Alternative" (it didnt work). Dave talks about putting black tar in Affrin bottles, and about getting sick in Austin while working at South by Southwest. We play a voice memo about Chiva from Christina. Jed from Church and Other Drugs calls in and gets dopey and talks recovery. Dave gets Chris to join him on a Tom Petty tribute.
Dopey103: Sam Cutler, Grateful Dead, The Rolling Stones, the Sixties, LSD, Jerry Garcia, Keith Richards
Dave interviews Sam Cutler, the tour manager for the Rolling Stones and the Grateful Dead. Sam explores the current opioid crisis, what drug use was like during the 60s/70s, and tells stories about his time on tour with Jerry Garcia and Keith Richards. We read an email from someone in charge of inmate programming for a prison in Australia who wants to make Dopey availabe to the prisoners.
Hotwheels calls into the show mid craving. Dave's dad comes on again and critiques Dopey. Maegan, a doctoral student in clinical psychology, calls in and shares about her recovery and her use - including the time her friend overdosed on fentanyl and she rushed him to the hopsital.... only to have him come to right when when they were pulling in. We play a song called "Titty Meat" from beat master Jon.
Dopey101: Hiding Shooting Cocaine, Scaring Drug Dealers, Strict Treatment Centers, No Worries, Meek Mill, CRI Help, Renaissance, Alina Lodge
Chris talks about scaring drug dealers, trying to hide shooting cocaine, and an abnormally fast heart rate. Dave shares about a recent encounter with his dad where he lost his temper. Dave's rehab friend from 15 years ago, Harold, calls in and talks about Dave back in the day. Also he tells us about the rehab he just got kicked out of. Dave plays a voice memo from a friend who had someone smoke crack in a car without asking. We read a review from a "normie." Stay Strong Dopey Nation
Dave and Chris speculate about relapse. Dave tells a story about squirting a childhood friend in the face with a water gun…. And then ponders the nature of people. Chris reads an old prank he played on someone in the treatment field. Chris talks about personality testing. We play several voice memos about things like PCP, Coffee Beans, MDMA, and a teenager getting secretly dosed by his dad.
Dopey99: Even Gayer than the Gayest Dopey Ever, Chemsex, Grinder, Squirt.org, Meth, Evidence-Based Practices, Narcan
Jason calls in and tells us about chemsex, specifically IV meth use, zoom rooms, and dating apps in the gay community. He goes on to talk about his recovery, including 12 step programs and evidence-based practices. We read an email from a Dopey Nation member who had to remove a decomposing body for work when he was high. The man had been dead for a month and "popped like a balloon" when he tried to move the body. Lastly, we play a voice memo from Josh about the time he got Narcaned when he overdosed.... if you are an active user (or know active users), go buy some Narcan.
Dopey98: Weed Delivery, Unholy Trinity, Quadriplegic, Steve-O, IV cocaine, Dungeons and Dragons, Blowjobs, Cinderella
Dave talks about when he was a crappy weed delivery man. Hotwheels calls in and tells us about how he broke his neck diving into a pond when he was drunk. His last words before becoming a quadriplegic were "Fuck Steve-O." Hotwheels goes on to tell us about his life after the injury, including his heroin/cocaine use and his attempts at recovery. Alex calls in again and updates us on his 5 years of sobriety. Chris gives some updates about school and his personal life. Dave criticizes Chris about his poor recollection of fairy tales.
Dopey97: Alexis Neiers, Bling Ring, Good Counselors, Oxycontin, Black Tar Heroin, CBD, Pretty Wild, TMZ
We talk about what makes a good counselor after playing a voice memo from someone who works in the treatment field. Alexis Neiers (Pretty Wild) calls in and tells us about her life in active addiction and recovery. She talks about using heroin (and smuggling drugs in her vagina) while recording her reality show. One of her stories involved lighting another woman's hair on fire with a cigarette and a hit and run with her car. Alexis goes on to share what it took to get sober at a young age. She talks about her early involvement in AA and her eventual decision to distance herself from the program. Alexis also shares her thoughts on recovery, the blessings of sobriety, and her hopes and aspirations for the addiction treatment field.
Tracey Helton Mitchell (Hope after Heroin) calls in and tells us about her using days and recovery. Tracey shares about using the same syringe for a year, being the "abscess queen," having a 70 year old sugar daddy when she was in her twenties, and other hardcore tales. Now Tracey is almost 20 years sober, a great mother, an author, and a positive force in the treatment world. We play a voice memo from Samuel in Australia about the time he ate a bunch of opium in the airport, nearly shit himself, and passed out. Chris talks about Erowid. Dave described a recent encounter with a whale while swimming. Lastly, we close with Cormac's versoin of "Good so Bad"... his 7 year old son provided the backup vocals.
Chris tells a story about having sex in a baseball dugout. Dave tells the "phallic bong" story - about the time he was tripping and thought that all his friends were gay as they packed each other bong hits. We play a voice memo from Andrew in Canada about the time he took too much MDMA at a rave and thought everyone was gay... and that the letters LGBTQ were being flashed on the megascreen. We read an email from Brian, a long time FABULOUS gay listener, who critiques our gay lingo. Chris tells the story about the time he shot meth with a resident in a brain injury clinic... who then wanted to suck his dick.
Dopey94: Consuming Bottle of Klonopin, Methadone Maintenance, Los Angeles, Dave’s Dad, John McCain, iTunes Reviews, Suicide
Chris' friend from rehab in California calls in and talks about his last few days of using. It involved a car crash, a physical encounter with his wife, and consuming an entire bottle of Klonopin in hopes of killing himself.... all in bathrobe with no shoes on. Chris' friend is now in long term recovery and a well respected attorney. Dave's dad then returns to the show and critiques Dopey, although we learn that he checks the reviews more than we do. He also talks about how unfunny Dave was when he was high and how Chris misuses words. Lastly, Dave talks about the time he interviewed Senator John McCain while high.
Dopey93: LSD, Dave meets Artie Lange, Relationships in Recovery, Heroin Treatment, Dark Web, Nobody Home
Dave smashes Chris about relationships. Chris tries stand up... and Dave smashes him. Dave tells the story about recently meeting Artie Lange. Chris retells the story about trying to hide tripping on LSD from a girlfriend, but adds the dismal ending of the story. We read an email from someone who still "loves heroin" after 20 years of use... and claims that it saved his life. Dave plays "Nobody Home." We do shout outs... sorry if we missed you!
Dopey92: Phish, Injection Mechanics, Poop in Pants, Weed Paranoia, Coping Drugs on the Street, Dope in and Dope Out, Ketamine
Justin, a member of the dopey nation who recently got his MBA and MSW, calls in and tells us a couple Phish stories from his using days. We play a voice memo from Bailey about the time he faked a toothache to get a pass from rehab to go buy drugs... and also about the time he shat his pants in the store.... and also about the time he threw up during sex. Dave and Chris talk about injection mechanics and when IVing goes wrong. Chris shares about buying drugs on the street - specifically about when he was a little kid and tried to buy ketamine and mushrooms in the hood --- they didnt have any.
Dopey91: Dildos, Rehab Romances, Sleeping with Mom, Brandon Novak, Jackass, King Heroin, Detox, Kensington
Brandon Novak calls in and lives up to the hype. Perhaps one of the most dopey guests, Brandon tells many depraved stories at the intersection of sex and drugs. One such story includes the time he came home in a black out and accidently tried to sleep with his mom. Beyond his junky tales, Brandon shares about his amazing climb out of the hole... transmitting recovery openly and honestly from a place of total humility. A must listen. After Brandon, we play a voice memo from Christina about a rehab (detox) romance that ended poorly - with her shooting meth while in a sober living, a restraining order, and jail time.
Dopey90: Prison, Jerking off on Meth, Released into Captivity, Chino, Gender Fluidity, Anal Sex, Seizures, Daniel Herron, Southsiders
We read a high octance email from Australia about the time James shot too much MDMA and went into a psychotic episode - when the police came he asked them to "fuck him in the arse," and his boyfriend had to let him "suck his dick so he wouldnt jump of the balacony." Dave tells the story about the time he seized on a lofted bed, fell off, and landed on a bong on the floor. Chris talks about how he confused gender fluidity with sexual fluidity and painted a bizarre picture to his female classmate. Lastly, and certainly not leastly, we call Daniel Herron from the "Released in Captivity" podcast. Daniel spent 10 years in prison, including some time in the same county jail as Chris. He talks about his new podcast and tells us some prison stories - including the time he preemptively gave his clothes to an inmate named "Psycho"... and ended up calling out all of the Southsiders when "Psycho" wouldnt return the clothes. Also we talk about the "no hands policy" in certain prisons - when you can only stab people and are not allowed to fight with your hands.
Dopey89: Meditation, Hookers, Alcohol Blackouts, Psychedelics in a Laundromat, Vipassana, John Belushi, Scrub Life, Bill Cosby
Chris shares about his recent meditation retreat. We play a voice memo from Woody about the time he blacked out and came to with two hookers in the back of a cab... he ended up losing his wallet and woke up in an alley. Chris shares about blacking out and waking up in a Chinese girl's room during college while her parents were walking down the hall to get her. Dave makes fun of Chris for needing everyone to like him, including the woman who made him a sausage burrito. Dave and Chris talk about the psychedelic amplification of tripping in a laundromat. We talk about Bill Cosby. Lastly, we read some messages from someone who "unsubscribed" from Dopey because we keep eating on the show.
Dopey88: Bob Forrest, Bufo Alvarius Frog, DMT, Shooting Meth, Shooting Cocaine, Sister Morphine, Artie Lange, Marc Maron
Bob Forrest (Celebrity Rehab, Thelonious Monster) calls in again and talks about shooting cocaine and hiding in a tree with a famous musician because he was psychotic and thought the cops were coming. He also tells the story of his friend who cut a piece of his leg off to study under a microscope because there were "worms" in it (he was also shooting cocaine). Bob rips the medical community/pharmaceutical industry a new one because of the opioid epidemic, and he tells us about his new podcast "Dont Die." Dave plays "Sister Morphine." Chris talks about shooting vodka and crushed up psych meds. Chris ponders whether midgits have a difficult time shooting up because they have small hands. Chris talks about the Bufo Alvarius frog (DMT frog) and tells the story of a friend that smoked the frog after it died (it didnt do anything). We play an awesome "Theme Song Challenge" enrty from Kristinn F in Iceland. We read an email from someone who shot meth and took a really hot bath... and then had to go to the emergency room. Also a bunch of other stuff...
Dopey87: Grateful Dead, Double Stack Ecstasy, Mescaline, San Pedro, Nick Reiner, Craigslist Hookers, Jerry Garcia, Hippies
Dave talks about the history of the Grateful Dead... and we call John who used to work on the road crew for them from '83-'85. We read an email from Stephanie who took too much ecstasy and started licking ice statues at a party... and then rubbed a "Whopper" all over her face because she didn't know how to eat it. Chris talks about shooting heroin while tripping on mescaline (San Pedros). We call Nick Reiner again who tells the story of how he lost his virginity - to a Craigslist prostitute which he financed by stealing money from his parents.
Dopey86: Brandon Novak, Xanax Blackout, WhatsApp, Smoking Crack with Parents, Cathartic Waitering, Theme Song Challenge
Chris gets a sick satisfaction from reading old WhatsApp messages from Francesca, an Italian girl who used to live next door (he's going to hell for this). We call Brandon Novak (Jackass). We play a voice memo from Andrew from Philly about the time he blacked out on Xanax and woke up feeling like he was "hit by a bus," with no posessions except for a "Christian book." Andrew now has two years clean and is doing well. We read a reddit message from someone who used to smoke crack with his parents and accidently drank his dad's piss. And lastly, but no leastly, we play an awesome 'Theme Song Challenge' entry from Cormac!
Dopey85: Sobriety, Online Dating, “Hoop the Shooter,” Milk, Lower East Side, Bumble, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel
Dave and Chris talk about the blessings of sobriety, Chris shares about dating sober, online dating, and communicating with the dopey nation, we play a voice memo from Milk ("fuck the haters"), and Chris plays a recording from a sober homeless man (Mike) from the Lower East Side. Lastly, we talk about "hooping the shooter" - which is too taboo to write about here.
Todd calls in and tells us about the time he overdosed on fentanyl in an aisle in CVS, Chris talks about puking in an aisle in CVS because he saw a bottle of Robitussin Maximum Strength Cough, Chris talks about getting caught shooting up in CVS, Dave talks about stealing cookies from CVS, and Dave talks about buying syringes from CVS. We read an email from Gabby in Australia about predators in AA/NA ("dicks flying at me from all angles"). We play a voice memo from long-time listener, Christina, who tells us quite the story about shooting meth and ketamine south of the equator.
Dopey83: Lillo Brancato Jr, Heroin in Prison, Stealing from Veterinarian, Nick Reiner, Cocaine Overdose
Lillo Brancato Jr. (Sopranos, A Bronx Tale) calls in and tells us about the time he overdosed in prison and how he subsequently got clean a few days later. We play a very articulate voice memo from long time listener and lovely southern belle, Leah. She tell us how she used to steal medication from the veterinarian and about how she got sober. We call Nick Reiner.... and he answers... while partying at the swanky Chateau Marmont. Dave talks about "relax-o" (xanax). Chris retells a story about a horrific cocaine overdose.
Chris shares about a recent heartbreak. We play a voice message from a man who threw a bunch of DMT out the window. Dave relishes in the origins of Chris' defunt podcast "Lonely Space." We play a voice memo from a homeless man. We also play the first submission for the "Dopey Theme Song Contest." Dave tries to farm out the Dopey twitter account for the millionth time. We discuss advertising strategies for the Oreo cookie.
Dave shares the story of the time he lit his couch on fire while nodding out and threw the flaming cushions outside his apartment window. Chris talks about licking his gross microwave after he coated it with ketamine accidently. We read an email about reviving a person by injecting cocaine. Dave plays some new songs - specifically "Hole in my Heart." Chris recounts his fascination with the phrase "i'll be asleep" and the word "obviously" while tripping. And we read an excerpt from Artie Lange's book "Crash and Burn."
Dopey80: Carl Jung, Big Book, William James, Telazol, Alcoholics Anonymous, Heroin Spit, Rowland Hazard, Bill Wilson, Spirituality
Chris nerds out about Carl Jung, William James, and the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Dave talks about spiritual experiences. Chris shares a story about the time he injected a random medication - telazol - that is used to knock out animals. We play an amazing voice memo from Demeter in New Zealand, and read an email from Kaitlin in Albany about trying to shoot heroin mixed with saliva.
Chris' sponsor's sponsor (grandsponsor), Tim, calls into the show and talks about Dopey's place in the treatment world, shamanism, hallucinogenics in recovery, and also tells a few stories from his using days. One such story involves Tim emerging from the woods at a campire... while holding an axe and telling the campers that he didnt know if he was the "Angel of Death" or the "Angel of Life." Dave talks about his recent encounter with Jamie Lee Curtis, who agreed to be on Dopey and then cancelled when she learned more about the show's format. Lastly, Dave gets peeved by a recent review.
Dave plays a recording from a person he bumped into on the street (at 7am) who was high on cocaine and trying to get a call girl. Chris talks about the origins of antabuse and what its like to drink while on the medication.... and how he used to swap out the pills when his ex girlfriend administered them. We play a recording from Daniel about the time he stole diamonds to support his drug addiction... and then had a random little girl hid him in her backyard while the police were looking for him. Lastly, we read an amazing email from Rob about a time he overdosed and his dog scratched his back raw from trying to wake him up... and about a time he lost his drugs in the snow in Brooklyn... and crawled through slush for hours looking for them.
Dopey77: Most Pathetic Drug Use, Chris’ Sponsor - Dylan, Copping Drugs while Listening to Dopey, Artie Lange Addiction Saga
Dave and Chris delve into the most pathetic things they have done to get/use drugs... such as trying to inject cocaine using spit. Chris' sponor, Dylan, calls in and shares some gnarly stories and a sprinkling of recovery. We read an email from someone who listens to Dopey as he goes to buy drugs each morning. And Dave talks more about Artie Lange....
Dopey76: Crossfit Dave, Omar, SHAIR podcast, Cocaine Psychosis in Costa Rica, Overdose, Prank Phone Call
Dave and Chris reminisce and celebrate the life of their friend Dave (who was on Dopey) and recently passed away. Omar from the SHAIR podcast calls in and tells some crazy stories from his using days. One such story includes disrobing and throwing his clothes outside the window of his moving car while in the midst of a cocaine psychosis. Omar also tells us a bit about the online casino business, and tempers his crazy stories with some great recovery talk.
We talk about Artie Lange's recent arrest, Jed from C&OD calls in and tells us about the time he stole a bunch of drugs/money from a hotel he worked at, we play another voicemail from Tim from Philly about the time he stole a woman's wedding ring but couldn't outrun her, Dave plays his song "I don't wanna find out," and we play "Methadone" from Jon.
We play an intense voice memo from Daniel about the first time he shot meth, Dave talks about some porn producers/stars he met at work, and Chris shares a funny story about his friend Ted who faked a testicle injury to get narcotics....
Dopey73: Jail Stories Pt. 2, Big Balls Lee, Bum Trip, Tommy the Fox, Orange County Jail, Antisemitism
Chris continues his jail stories, focusing primarily on the people he met while incarcerated - Big Balls Lee (a crazy man with huge testicles), Tommy the Fox (an OG - Original Gangster), and other various nefarious characters. Dave has a movie idea ("Bum Trip") and also gets a little riled up about the plight of the Jewish people.
Dave and Chris talk about a couple of their old drug dealers, Chris plays a portion of a podcast he was on several years ago, and Jesse calls in and tells us about being in the psych ward as a drug addict - specifically waking up and having another patient standing over him saying " error, error."
Dave and Chris get old-school Dopey in this classic episode. We start with a voice memo from Tim about shooting cocaine in the hood and receiving felatio from a freebase-dependent lady of the night (a crack ho). Then we painstakingly recount syringe malfunctions and our idiotic attempts not to lose drugs. Special guest Rae then calls in and tells us about bringing drugs across the Mexican border, and handcuffing herself to the radiator in her West Village apartment. O, yea, we talk about the 9th step a bit too.
Dave shares a story about a failed job oppotunity with a film producer, a fan calls in and tells us how Dopey has helped him get sober, and Cormac returns to the show to tell us about a bad experience with dissociatives, specifically 3-MeO-PCE.
Dopey69: Bob Forrest, Treatment Industry, Celebrity Rehab, John Belushi, Selling Meth, Thelonius Monster, Cathy Smith, Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Bob Forrest (Celebrity Rehab, Thelonius Monster) calls in and talks about the rehab industry, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and about the time he sold meth to Cathy Smith while she was on trial for John Belushi's death. He also shares some other depraved nuggets from his past, but you'll have to listen to catch those. Bob runs a hotline to help ANYONE get treatment, regardless of their financial/insurance situation: National Assessment Foundation - 1-888-494-9186
Dopey68: Piss Bottles, Nurdles, Dave Calls In, Crossfit, Huffing, Pepperidge Farm Remembers, Meth, Weed
A Dopey Nation member tells us about the time his friend huffed a fire extinguisher and he robbed his dying grandmother, Chris talks about pissing in bottles, Dave tells his nurdle story, and Dopey Nation Dave calls in and gets personal.
Dopey67: Jail Stories Pt. 1, Southsiders, Woods, Paisanos, Dave’s Dad, Brothers, Surenos, Orange County Jail
Chris reflects on his intense experiences while incarcerated, Dave's dad calls in to critique dopey again and share his pretend arrest, and we read an email from someone who praises our intelligence - "I was seriously convinced that the amount of drugs you both used would have cut your IQ down by al least half."
Dave and Chris spend the first half of the episode painstakingly dissecting and clarifying their television and ice cream preferences. Dave plays a song about heroin: "Carmelita." Chris tells the story about the time he was the first person on the scene of a DUI where a person was killed. Lastly, we read an email from "C" about the time she blacked out and got her car stuck in a field.
Dopey65: Weed Recovery, Chris’ Last High, High Sobriety, Artie Lange, Joe Schrank, LSD, Ecstasy, MDMA
Joe Schrank calls in and gives us an exclusive on his new rehab where patients are allowed to smoke weed, we talk about a recent Artie Lange interaction that went poorly, and Chris shares the details about the last time he got high.
We share stories from our youth, Dave talks about his struggle quitting smoking, Dave criticizes Chris' romantic history, we talk about shooting cocaine and heroin simultaneously in seperate arms, Dave talks about interviewing Bob Weir when he was high (and only asking him about Jerry Garcia), and we play another voice memo from Steve in the UK about huffing and getting taken advantage of by an animal.
Dave and Chris talk about Chabad, smuggling drugs into detox and rehab, hiding drugs and forgetting about them, and getting burned by dealers. Also we read an email from Adrienne about the time a stranger rescued her from getting a DUI, and play a cover of 'Good so Bad' by Adrienne and her husband.
Dave and Chris go old school in this late night, classic episode of Dopey. Topics include drinking while in rehab, using while in public detox, and the worst heroin and alcohol withdrawals. We also play a voice memo from "M" who tells us about an existential crisis he had while tripping on research chemicals during a birthday party at Chucky Cheese.